10 Lifestyle Changes to Help Erectile Dysfunction

In western medicine, we often look for a simple cure to anything that ails us. We get sick, we take a pill. We have pain, we take a pill. We have ED, we take a pill. The problem is, real health care is often far more entangled and involved than that. The factors that can cause us health problems may pose no threat on their own, but when piled up on each other, in combination, this multiplied effect can reach the tipping point and cause some frustrating medical issues.

Dealing with ED is no different. The little stresses of life we subject our bodies to, all take their toll on our penis and its ability to function. After too much abuse, our body signals that it is giving up the fight. An holistic, lifestyle approach to treating ED can help the recovery and maintenance of a functioning penis.

The chemistry of an erection is amazing. It begins with the fragile molecule, Nitric Oxide (NO), which signals the muscles lining the blood vessels of the penis to relax and let blood engorge the penis. NO is a molecule with unbalanced electrons – that means that it will breakdown instantly with certain other molecules. The production and stability of NO relies on antioxidants to protect it so that it has time to deliver its effect before it breaks down (in less than a few seconds). Amazingly, almost every aspect of our lifestyle affects the production and function of NO as well as the presence of antioxidants to protect it.

Weight Control

When it comes to penises, size does not matter. When it comes to waist lines, size really does matter. Being overweight or obese is one of the worst things you can do to your penis. First of all, men tend to accumulate fat in their lower abdomen and in the pubic area at the base of the penis. As this pad of fat increases, available square footage of penis decreases. For every 15 pounds of extra fat, you lose ½ inch of penis. That’s just the beginning.

One of the byproducts of being overweight is insulin resistance. Even if not diabetic, the overweight man has created an environment where his body is not able to respond to insulin as it should. Insulin is a primary stimulator of NO production. Lower insulin response equals lower NO! Higher sugar levels of overweight men also impair NO production.

Point 1: Lose Weight!

 

Exercise

According to a recent study published in the International Journal of Impotence Research, the most important lifestyle factor influencing ED is exercise – both whole body exercise and penile exercise. It has been shown that a sedentary lifestyle increases ED by 2-10 fold, whereas moderate activity has been reported to reduce ED by 60% and high activity by over 80%. Physical exercise causes increased NO production throughout the whole body. Exercise also increases the body’s sensitivity to insulin (seeing a pattern here?).

Sadly, systemic bodily exercise does not increase blood flow to the penis. Gladly, the penis must be exercised as well. Regular stimulation that induces erections will increase the presence of NO in the penis as well as improve the penile response to it.

Point 2: Exercise helps create healthy erections!

Stress

Most of us tend to think of stress as feeling as if there’s too much to do and too little time to do it – too much on our plate! But stress is actually a very complex combination of physical and psychological interactions. At its most basic level, stress is the body anticipating the need for extra energy. This means everything from the highest level (panic, fury), the middle level (frustration, deadlines) to the lowest level (lack of sleep, not eating, worry). Your body’s response to every level is to pump adrenaline into your system as well as pump sugar into your blood stream for extra energy (remember insulin resistance?). This is the fight-or-flight response you hear about.

The major sexual aspect of stress is that adrenaline is what keeps your penis flaccid on a daily basis. So, even the smallest amount of worry or stress is going to pump adrenaline into your system, which will instantly kill an erection.

Point 3: Managing stress is key to your sexual health.

Reduce Fat Intake

Fat causes blood vessels to become inflamed. This inflammation greatly reduces the effect of NO. Fat in the blood stream increases oxidation – which breaks down NO. Fat reduces the effects of insulin. A high fat meal can also render the effects of Viagra completely useless. Fat increases cholesterol which can clog the tiny arteries of the penis.Fat makes you fat! (remember the weight control issue?) So, how is all this sounding? Those French fries may taste great going down, but are they worth making sex more difficult?

Point 4: Cut out fat in your diet.

 

Reduce Sugar Intake

Sugar levels in your blood are directly related to Insulin levels and creating insulin resistance. Higher sugar levels also raise oxidation levels which break down nitric oxide.Sugar makes you fat. Can you really justify that candy bar if it’s going to ruin an erection?

Point 5: Reduce sugar in your diet.

Mild/Moderate Alcohol

Interestingly, mild to moderate amounts of alcohol (1-2 drinks per day) has been shown to reduce ED.  Moderate alcohol consumption has been shown to increase NO levels in laboratory animals. However, excessive alcohol suppresses NO production, damages the muscle cells of the penis and increases premature ejaculation!

So, it looks as if that glass of wine with dinner is good for your penis, after all. Just keep it moderate. Too much alcohol may increase the desire – but absolutely will decrease performance!

Point 6: Enjoy alcohol in moderation.

Smoking

This hardly needs any discussion. Studies have shown that smoking, as well as second hand smoke, increase the incidence of ED. Cardiovascular damage and disease coupled with smoke destroying Nitric Oxide makes it sexual suicide to continue to smoke. If you need help quitting, see your doctor.

Point 7: Quit Smoking

Antioxidants

We’ve all heard of antioxidants – they are in the news a lot. The best known anti-oxidants are beta carotene, vitamins C and E, and the mineral selenium. Other anti-oxidants include ginkgo biloba, coenzyme Q10, tocotrienols.  

Polyphenols are potent antioxidants found in high amounts in certain foods. Pomegranate, tea (especially white tea), red wine, blueberries, strawberries, raspberries are all great. Black berries have twice the amount of the other berries. Dark cocoa, low in sugar, has a tremendous benefit for increasing NO production. Spices such as rosemary, oregano, cinnamon, turmeric, black pepper, cloves, garlic and paprika have even been shown to reduce the harmful effects of a high fat meal!

Point 8: Eat your fruits and vegetables and add spices to your meals.

Testosterone

We see the TV ads everywhere. “Got low T?” The truth is, many men are walking around with low testosterone. Low energy, depression, weight gain, loss of libido are all symptoms of low testosterone levels. In a nutshell, testosterone is what makes you feel like a man. The energy to compete, create, explore, and conquer comes from this male hormone. So does the desire and ability to have sex.

Despite the temptation, don’t run to your nutrition store and try to fix this on your own. You can create huge problems by tampering with hormones on your own. If you think you might have low T, ask your doctor.

Point 9: Go get a physical

Supplements

There has been a lot of research lately into the effects of supplements on sexual performance. A study in the International Journal of Impotence Research by the Reproductive Partners Medical Group, has created a list of supplements that have been shown to increase NO production and preservation. This includes:

Omega-3 Fish Oil          1000mg
Folic Acid                       400 micrograms
Vitamin C                       1000mg
Vitamin E                       200mg
L-Citruline                      2 grams    
Pycnogenol                    50-120 mg.   
Green Tea                     3 cups/day
Chocolate (low sugar)   1 oz/day

Surprisingly, L-Arginine did not make the list. It has been found that most of the recommended doses are so small, that the drug is synthesized almost completely before it has time to affect NO production. If you want to try it, the dose that seems to have the greatest effect is 5 grams.

Point 10: Talk to your doctor about supplements at your next visit.

To Love Thy Neighbor, Love Thyself

One of the most common responses we see from men when they face sexual or erectile difficulties, is simply avoidance. It makes sense. If sex has become frustrating, challenging, embarrassing, or humiliating, then why in the world would anyone continue trying to be sexual? Avoid all that pain by simply avoiding sex. It’s simple!

While it is an understandable feeling and a logical response, it might be compared to someone who has a leg injury who decides to simply give up on walking. It certainly is one answer, but it’s probably not the best answer. It is not in the best interests of anyone to go through life denying their human sexuality.

It remains a basic human need to be sexual. Even though sex may not be working the way we’re used to, or the way we’d like it to, we all still need to maintain both a solo sex life and an intimacy with our partners. It’s good for our mental health. It’s good for our physical health. It’s sort of like that not-walking choice: eventually, it will lead to further complications and problems.

The first place to start is to think about solo sex. The great thing about solo sex, is that you can try things out all by yourself to see how they work, how they feel, and how you respond. Every time I talk about a new technique or therapy with a man, I always caution him to try it out in private and solitude. For example, I hear stories about men who got their penis pump in the mail and are so excited to try it out, that they call in their partner to witness the resurrection of their penis – only to witness a DOA. Well, when things go badly, the letdown makes hope seem more far-off than ever.

No matter what, guys need to remain connected to their penis in more than just a flesh and blood relationship. Even if it’s not working right, even if it’s not feeling right, even if it bears no resemblance to the penis you used to have, you still need to have fun with it. Stay in love with your penis. Even though it’s going through a rough time, now is not the time to desert it! Look how often you were sick and it stuck by you, didn’t it?

Many guys don’t realize they can still ejaculate and orgasm with a flaccid penis just as they can with an erect one. Yes, masturbation techniques may change, but the outcome should not. Lots of lubricant, patience, and an exploring spirit can result in some pretty rewarding moments of pleasure.

In addition to adjustments in technique, men may have to find erogenous areas of their bodies they’ve never had to pay much attention to. The perineum, testes, nipples, thighs, anus and groin can all provide some very intriguing sensations. It might take some bravery and a sense of fun adventure, but the rewards are worth it.

Be a pioneer. Be an explorer. The voyage of sexual self discovery is one that has no final destination – but it’s one heck of a journey!

 

 

The Lone Wolf

Isolation is one of the most difficult aspects of men’s sexual medicine.  It’s almost part of the Man Code – Don’t talk about it. Whether it’s coming to soon, or losing your erection in the middle of sex, or never getting it to begin with, the first response is frustration, then embarrassment, then shut down. 

Most men don’t even want to talk to their partners about it. I had one guy tell me that sex problems make him look weak, and what woman wants a weak man? He said it was easiest to just never call a woman again if he lost it in the middle of sex. I talk to husbands all the time who simply stop having sex instead of seeking help. One gay man I was working with told his partner to just find other men – it was easier than talking about the real issue.  So, where does a guy go for help?

It seems the whole world snickers at the TV ads for ED drugs. What guy in his right mind is then going to turn to his friends and admit he has ‘that’ problem?  He is sure that he is going to become the butt of every limp joke there is. Guys just don’t talk to each other like that. Most guys don’t talk about sex except in a joking, detached or complaining sort of way – usually about how much he is NOT getting. Nope, no guy is ever going to let himself be set up like that. It’s easier to pretend everything’s fine.

Reaching out for help can be terrifying. For many men, their lives and relationships are almost in ruins before they are willing to make that first step. Self-blame, guilt, embarrassment and this blow to their manhood can be paralyzing factors. Facing the fact that they need to get help often comes when they can’t avoid the issue any longer. They worry about who will answer the phone at a doctor’s office. What if they run into someone they know?

Many men will turn to the anonymity of the internet to seek help. They figure there must be some information out there they can use. This is a perfect setup for the scams and con-artists that are waiting for desperate men to stumble onto their promise of complete restoration of sexual virility. Men are often willing to pay anything, try anything and do anything to get their sex life back. This vulnerability is exactly what the hustlers are looking for.

When I talk to men about this isolation, I often ask them to turn the tables on themselves. What if their friend came to them and wanted to talk about his sexual problems? Every single one of them has said they would want to help. Would they laugh? Nope. Would they tell his other friends? Nope.

So why do so many of us just isolate when things get bad? Who knows? It’s kind of like the wounded animal that seeks a cave to go lick its wounds. Well, once you’ve licked long enough (OMG the jokes that are possible with that line!), it’s time to do something about it. Seek help.

Reaching out is the hardest step.  Guaranteed – no one is going to laugh. 

“Sometimes you feel like a nut…”

Anyone over forty remembers that jingle. Almond Joy and Mounds. “Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.” OK, at first glance it seems an odd jingle (or a very clever sexual pun) to associate with Erectile Dysfunction. But the fact is, it sums up a lot of issues.

Penises have a mind of their own. Ask any of us who lived through junior high and the memories or mortifications come flooding back. This great little appendage we with which we were experiencing puberty, often came to torment us at all the wrong times (I remember watching one poor classmate in 7^th grade reading a book report at the front of the class with a pronounced erection).And the more we wanted it to go away, the more persistent it became! What we would give now for a bit of that insistence!

And one of the hardest lessons to learn as an adult making peace with ED, is that we still have no more control over that beast than we did in junior high – except that the response is now in the reverse. No matter how we might beg, cajole, pray or work, sometimes it’s just not going to show up for the party. And the more we work, the less likely it is to make an appearance.

And don’t think you were special in the snub. This even happens to guys who have never had any issues with Erectile Dysfunction.  Every guy has had this happen. It’s not a big deal. But for most men, it becomes a mumbled excuse about too much to drink or stress at work or a long day. It’s about as big a deal as the spilled drink at the party. It’s cleaned up and over with.

But for the guy watching penile progress, it’s frustrating. It may have worked so well last time and even the time before that. We were on a role, weren’t we? We were well on our way to recovery! Then this? Aughhh! It’s infuriating! Not to mention disappointing and disheartening. We were in the moment, we were having fun, we were fine.

The self-blame begins:  “What did I do wrong?”  “What did I do differently?”  “What did I forget to do?”   The downward spiral begins. Stress kills erections, lack of erections cause stress. The stress kills erections….and so forth. How do you get off the spiraling nosedive into destruction?

It was my friend, “Tom”, who came up with this response: “Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t.”  There is no reason, no explanation, no cause, no blame. This time, the invited guest simply didn’t feel like coming. No big deal. Have the party without him. You can still dance, drink and have lots of laughs. Let yourself off the hook.

“Sometimes you feel like a nut. Sometimes you don’t”.  Get on with life and loving.

PS:  Click on the candy bars above. It’s a whole new way of looking at this commercial!

Urologist or Sexologist?

I was sitting in an office of a famous urologist. I was explaining my mission of trying to get information to men about ED and its treatments. I kind of get going when I’m on a topic like this. People think I’m passionate about it. Maybe I am, but my family will tell you that I go off about everything from mispronounced words to bad grammar to guys who wear the wrong shirts with dinner jackets (You really should NOT wear a wing collar with a dinner jacket or tux, by the way. I don’t care that everybody does it!). See? I can’t help myself.

But I was going off on why urologists don’t tell guys everything they need to know to help them make a good decision. Then I went off about how urologists don’t really explain ED treamtents at all. I asked the doctor in front of me, “Have YOU ever used a penis pump?” You can imagine the look of disdain and horror that flew across his face. “Phhhf. No! Why would I?” I had no more to say – much to his relief.

But he did tell me one really important piece of information that has helped me enormously. He told me that physicians get ZERO training in erectile dysfunction treatment. They might get some class time on pathology of the penis, but nothing on ED. OK, so that’s your average doctor. Surely urologists get lots of ED training, right? Wrong. A urologist will usually get a few hours in a seminar on ED – if he decides to attend.

So, according to this urologist who specializes in male sexual medicine, most urologists get no real training in ED and its treatments. Remember, these guys are primarily surgeons. Cancer, Kidneys, Bladders, and all sorts of wild bodily structures occupy most of their time. Look at the international symbol for urology above – it doesn’t even include genitals! ED is pretty far down the training list. And for most urologists, that’s as it should be. They are surgeons. I want them to be experts in that.

So, it’s up to us to understand that this doctor is not going to be able to help me sexually beyond prescribing treatments. He probably does not use them. He does not experience them. So why should we expect him to be an expert on how to use the ED treatments he has prescribed?

I often use the parallel of an orthopedic surgeon who fixes some guy up and after surgery, clears him to play tennis. The guy is having a hard time with his tennis game. Does he go back to his doctor and say “Gee, doc, my backhand just isn’t working” ? No! He goes to a coach.

Why do we keep going back to a urologist as if he is an expert on sex? Remember, most medical students were the nerds who studied on Saturday nights. If you want a sexpert, talk to the guys who were out screwing on a Saturday night. They are known as political science majors. You know where to find them.

So, instead of complaining that your urologist did not tell you something, start asking the right people. Find a sexual help expert. They can take everything the doctor prescribed to you and help you apply it to your game. ‘Nuf said?

A Starting Point

As I began this crazy journey of starting a little website (FranktTalk.org) for guys with ED, I had no idea where it would take me – or that I would even go. The fact is, it pulled me. I remember one doctor who warned me, “Watch out, Paul. You’ve got a tiger by the tail.” And that is exactly how it feels still.

Despite the ubiquitous commercials for drugs, this topic is still laden with shame, fear, embarrassment and awkwardness. We fight a lot of assumptions:

• There are lots of resources for these men
• There is a lot of information about ED on the internet
• Doctors know a lot about treaing ED
• ED is an old man’s problem
• There must be some organization for ED

The facts are quite different:

• There are/were virtually no resources of integrity for men with ED
• The internet is flooded with commercials, scams and encyclopedic information, but very little real education
• Doctors receive no training in treating ED. Even urologists get only a few hours of training in their education.
• ED affects young men: Athletes, veterans, accident victims, medical patients, stressed out guys.
• Until the Erectile Dysfunction Foundation was founded in 2011, there was NO advocacy/support organization for men with ED. Until FrankTalk.org was created, there was no educational, informational, support site for ED.

We’ve got our work cut out for us. A doctor once told me that this is probably the last medical condition that is still completely in the closet. Is it something a guy wants everyone to know? NO. But it should be a lot easier to find sound, intelligent and complete information. We’re working on it!